Amidst the dust from the hardwood floor installation and the stripes of paint color options on the wall, the gorgeous granite counter tops and maple kitchen cabinets a home is emerging. Light suffuses the living room, streaming through the kitchen and the eye is drawn to the windows at the back of the house in the family room that overlook the back yard and golf course. The outdoors feels like a part of the house with the huge wall of windows.
It is amazing to think that a mere 29 days ago this process began. In just under a month we’ve opened a wall between the living room and rest of the house, gutted the kitchen, took all the paneling down in the family room, built new soffits, hung drywall in the kitchen and family room, laid new hardwood floors and patched the old ones, gutted a bathroom and rough plumbed it, put in new electrical in the kitchen and bathroom, found most of our appliances on Craigslist and bought a couple retail, had the new kitchen cabinets installed last week, granite counter tops in today, and yet despite all of this I still can’t seem to decide on the paint colors for the rooms. I had the painter do the master bedroom first and hated the blue I chose and now I am paralyzed it seems. After buying 9 quarts of different browns, tans and a couple of greens and blues, I have yet to feel great about the any of the colors. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe I should just choose a few and be done with it and yet it feels somehow like the most important thing. I chose the kitchen cabinets and granite in less than an hour, the bathroom vanity, tile and fixtures in just about the same amount of time and now I am hobbled by colors. Ugh.
Joe and Lori at Acorn Kitchen and Bath have been amazing. Ahead of schedule at every step and even though there was a little glitch when the cabinets arrived with the wrong drawers and slides, they were quick to get a solution moving. They are efficient and their crew is great, leave the place spotless and since it seems they are all named ‘Mike’ it makes it easy for me to remember! Why can’t I be as efficient and neat and confident? Why has the issue of the wall colors been so difficult for me? I’ve designed an office that’s bright and cheery. I chose the colors for the space in a matter of about a day. This is just feels so hard!
I could get all psychological about it and recognize that for the first time since my divorce I am making a home. A long lasting space that will be ours and although I am not ambivalent about it, it is daunting and exciting and I guess I just want it to be if not perfect, at least really close. I love the kitchen and bathroom and love the floors and the openness removing the wall has brought but I just can’t commit to the paint colors. I see parents like this all the time in the office who worry that the small choices they make will have huge repercussions for their child and lack confidence when in reality the everyday choices they make won’t make or break their kids or their role as parents. I see them wavering about whether to introduce fruits or veggies first, whether to have a babysitter or not, whether they should let their toddler cry it out when he wakes up at night. In reality, none of these are make or break choices in the big scheme of things and yet they feel huge to some parents. For me, it is whether Chipmunk or Dusty Trail is the right brown for the living room. I need a dose of my own pep talk medicine and just relax a bit. I need to remember that a home isn’t made or ruined by a color on the wall. I need to stop buying quarts of paint and just make a decision. I need to piss or get off the pot as the saying goes.
Hmmmm, the pep talk isn’t really working…. I still don’t love any of the colors I have tried out on the wall and so I still have a huge urge to return to the paint store for a slightly creamier brown and tan for the walls…. Maybe just a couple more quarts……