Today was my first day back in the swing of things (sort of). When I got up this morning, the kids had decorated my dressing room and made a huge, colorful ‘Welcome Home Mom’ banner in the dining room. Wonderful and sweet and genuine….then I had to lower the boom….I had to tell them that I needed to spend essentially the entire day doing stuff for the office….meet with my architect and make final choices on materials, do a few home visits, and have a meeting with my lawyer. Talk about guilt! Then, in my infinite wisdom (?stupidity) I offered them the option of accompanying me for the day which they readily accepted. Now understand my kids are terrific and patient and polite and wonderful but even the perfect angels I was blessed with were not ready for the long haul they were in for. Other than the ‘treat’ of a rushed meal out, my time was pretty much focused on my work. After having been away for many days, this seemed like torture for all of us. I had to do all this today since we are going away on our family vacation Friday and all this stuff needed to get done but still…what sort of parent schedules things in this way! STUPID PARENT that’s who! Conall was at one point clinging to my neck and giving me gentle kisses on my cheek (normally something I would relish since he is 7 and the times like this are fading fast) but instead I shooed him away since I needed to finish the discussion I was having with my architect. NICE. MOTHER OF THE YEAR material for sure.
Today and the busy-ness of the last several weeks have brought into sharp focus the fact that I am not a superwoman. I am a mom and a pediatrician and a committee member for the AAP and a wife and a daughter and a new business owner and frankly, there aren’t enough hours in the day for all of that sometimes. I am going to do some reassessment while on vacation with my family. Don’t worry…the practice and the kids are givens…but I may back away from some of my other commitments with the AAP for a while even though I enjoy them. Right now I feel like I am doing very little well and lots of things halfway and that is no way to live! I want to focus on my practice and my kids for now and achieve a new balance and comfort and then pick up more outside commitments after that new equilibrium is reached.
Soooo if the AAP leadership is reading this, let me say that I love serving on committees and running meetings and I love the friendships and stimulation the AAP involvement provides but I need to make my practice and my kids the priorities for a while at least and pull back. I will still come to conferences to learn things and will still run a meeting or two a year but the six or eight meeting schedule I have been keeping is not realistic for now.
In that same vein, since I will be on my family vacation, then in Austin for training and then in Chicago for the last meeting for a while, I am limiting my home visits. By the time I get back in mid-July the office will be just two weeks from opening and I will have furniture and decor and supplies and everything else to focus on….I love the home visits but need to confine them to a more realistic space in my life. When the office opens, I will be scheduling them in a more defined way to ensure a balance between work and the rest of my life.
Tomorrow I will have photos of furniture pieces and buildout stuff! I am meeting Chris at Ikea to place my order! Get excited!
Eat, love and play and each day will be your best!
Molly O’Shea, MD Birmingham Pediatrics + Wellness Center